Thursday, May 28, 2015

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Monday, May 25, 2015

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Friday, May 15, 2015

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Come To The Tennessee Medieval Faire - Harriman, TN This Saturday/Sunday

You've got to come to at least one day of this weekend's Tennessee Medieval Faire. It's joust for you!
Get more information HERE!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Monday, May 4, 2015

Do You Know Ju-Jitsu?

I was standing at the bar of an International Airport when this small Chinese guy walks up and stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of that martial arts stuff like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says "No, why you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?"

"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little prick."

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Monday, April 13, 2015

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Thursday, April 2, 2015

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Late Monday morning, a tough old fighter pilot finally regained consciousness. He found himself in agonizing pain in the base hospital’s ICU, with tubes up every orifice, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.

He then remembered he'd been in a serious flying accident on Friday.
 
Late Monday morning, a tough old fighter pilot finally regained consciousness. 

He found himself in agonizing pain in the base hospital’s ICU, with tubes up every orifice, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.

He then remembered he'd been in a serious flying accident on Friday.
 
The nurse gave him a serious, deep look straight into the eyes and he heard her slowly say,  “You may not feel anything from the waist down.” 
 
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, “Can I feel your boobs, then?
 

AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
 

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

What's This About Minimum Wage?

For those fast food employees striking for $15 an hour, let's do some math.  At $15 an hour Johnny Fry-Boy working 40 hours per week would make $30,000 annually. 

An E1 (Private) in the military makes $18,378 annually.  An E5 (Sergeant) with 8 years of service only makes $35,067 annually.

So you're telling me, Sally McBurgerflipper, that you deserve as much as those kids getting shot at, deploying for months in hostile environments, and putting their collective asses on the line every day protecting your unskilled butt!? 

Here's the deal Sweetheart Baconator, you are working in a job designed for a kid in high school who is actually supposed to be learning how to work and earning enough for gas, movies, condoms, and hanging out with their equally goofy high school pals.  If you have chosen this as your life long profession, you have failed. 

If you don't want minimum wage, don't have minimum skills.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

How Many Times A Week Do You Have Sex?

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year.

This was very shocking news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

The windshield incident...

A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a large dildo flew out and hit the windshield. Embarrassed, the mother turned to her young kids and said, "My, what a big insect!

To which her seven year old son replied, "I'm surprised it could fly with a dick that big."

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Don't Send Your Wife To Home Depot

Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.

He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.

Mary agreed to go.
 
While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.  When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, “How much is that faucet?
 
The manager replied, “That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.
 
Mary exclaimed, “My goodness, that's an expensive faucet and certainly out of my price range!”  She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
 
The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.  From the storeroom the manager yelled, “Ma'am, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
 
Mary shouted back, “No, but I will for the faucet.
 
This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot!

Saturday, March 7, 2015

The Love Dress

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly the recently married couple's house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."

The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.

Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she replied.

"Needs ironing," he says" "What's for dinner?"

Friday, March 6, 2015

Who Loves Their Country More?

To me, this comparison photo says it all!  

One has the right background, experience, and love of country for a leader, and the other does not!  I'm almost ashamed of our leader; not only for his past and actions, or rather inactions, and especially for his recent stand "against" Israel.

God help us!
Related Posts with Thumbnails