WHITE GIRL WORKOUT

SENIOR SWIMSUIT DISCOUNTS

THE 'ILLEGAL SUPER-HIGHWAY' IS DESTROYING THE SONORAN DESERT

Hey Everyone Out There!

Arizona knows you're boycotting them - but you really should go out here and see their beautiful Sonoran Desert. It's just gorgeous right now! We know you'd love it and maybe you can share what you saw with the rest of the country so they can love it too! This is an 'illegal super - highway' from Mexico to the USA (Tucson) used by human smugglers. This area is located in a wash, approximately 1.5 miles long, just south of Tucson, Arizona. If a flood came, all this would be washed to the river and then onto the sea! It is estimated over 5,000 discarded backpacks are in this wash. Countless water containers, food wrappers, clothing, feces, including thousands of soiled baby diapers. And as you can see in this picture, fresh footprints leading right into it.

If you walk down this wash, you might think it is going to end, but around every corner is just more and more trash!

And of course the trail leading out of the wash, heads directly NORTH to Tucson, then leads on to your town tomorrow. They've already come through here. Isn't Arizona just beautiful, America?

Why would you boycott us? Our desert has basically been turned into a landfill. The trash left behind by people illegally crossing our border is another Environmental Disaster to hit the USA. If these actions had been done in one of our Northwest Forests or Seashore National Parks areas, there would be an uprising of the American people…but this is the Arizona-Mexican border. You won't see these pictures on CNN, ABC, NBC or the Arizona Republic Repugnant newspaper. Nor will they mention the disease that comes from the uncovered human waste that was left in our desert.

However, with respect to CNN, ABC & NBC, they do offer us "Special Reports" on cheating celebrity spouses…This information needs to be seen by the rest of the country.

SEX AT SUBWAY

DON'T SMOKE IN MY OFFICE!

A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING

HERE ARE SOME NEW IMMIGRATION LAWS TO CONSIDER

1. There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools.


2. All ballots will be in this nation's language.


3. All government business will be conducted in our language.


4. Non-residents will NOT have the right to vote no matter how long they are here.


5. Non-citizens will NEVER be able to hold political office


6 Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers. No welfare, no food stamps, no health care, or other government assistance programs. Any burden will be deported.


7. Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount at least equal to 40,000 times the daily minimum wage.


8. If foreigners come here and buy land... options will be restricted. Certain parcels including waterfront property are reserved for citizens naturally born into this country.


9. Foreigners may have no protests; no demonstrations, no waving of a foreign flag, no political organizing, no bad-mouthing our president or his policies. These will lead to deportation.


10. If you do come to this country illegally, you will be actively hunted &, when caught, sent to jail until your deportation can be arranged. All assets will be taken from you.

Too strict ?

The above laws are current immigration laws of MEXICO !

THE BIG ERECTION

Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye. "What happened to you?!" asked his wife.

"I had a terrible day," replied Roy. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."

"I see," said his wife, "that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?"

Roy replied, "...wrong room."

WIDDLE WABBIT

A precious little girl walks into a petsmart shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, Mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."

WHAT WOMEN NEED TO LEARN

Spring Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Sat., May 29, 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

GO AHEAD...

You think you're so tough...I dare ya!

THERE'S A PERVERT IN EVERY CROWD!

GET YOUR MAGIC CARPET STARTED!

YOU GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR!

MAKING THEM DEAD IS JOB ONE!

BEWARE THE INTERNET!

You never know if the bitch is telling the truth or not!

THE JEWISH WIDOW

A widowed Jewish lady was sunbathing on a beach at Ft. Myers, Florida .. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, there, how are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book...

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"This is the first time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book.

"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she queried.

"Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ," he answered, and again he resumed reading.

Trying desperately to find any topic of common interest, she persisted," Do you like pussy cats?"

With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket, and climbed on top her, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most wonderful, passionate sex she'd ever experienced in her entire life.

After the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied..... "How did you know my name was Katz?"