WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO OSAMA

HOW TWINS ARE MADE

LITTLE LARRY

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. 

After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' 

His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.'

Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'

PLEASE REMEMBER OUR FALLEN HEROES

A LESSON IN LIFE IF I'VE EVER HEARD ONE...

LITTLE LARRY

Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 

'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'

Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

HANG IN THERE BABY...TODAY WILL BE OVER SOON!

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PROBLEM TODAY!

LITTLE LARRY

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' 

Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

LITTLE LARRY

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 

'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 

'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 

'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'

LITTLE LARRY SAYS:

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' 

After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 

'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

END OF THE WORLD?

Let's face it...you're going to be here tomorrow, unless, of course, it's your time to go!

See ya!

Matthew 24:36: "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

EXACTLY WHAT ARE YOU SAVING BY DRIVING A MINI-CAR?

Below is a Photo of An Accident Near New Orleans Involving Two Trucks And A Smart Car at less than 10 MPH.

 I Think I'll Pass On Saving Gas; I'd Rather Save My Ass!

THE BIGGER YOU ARE THE SMALLER YOUR BALLS!

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

And....
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. 

 

There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!

THANK YOU SEAL TEAM SIX!

A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. 

 

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower. 

 

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.' 

 

'I have a better idea,' she replied, 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.' 

 

'Wow! That's a great idea!', he exclaimed. 

 

'Good,' she replied, 'Get your own fucking blanket.' 

 

After a moment of silence, he farted!

TRUTH ON THE INTERNET IS LACKING...

"The trouble with quotes

over the Internet

is that you never know

if they are genuine." 

...Abraham Lincoln